Have you noticed that in the U.S. we are OBSESSED with the idea of happiness? Happiness is in our careers, in friendships, in relationships, and in our overall LIFE. Happiness is the one thing we STRIVE for. It’s like the end-all-be-all goal of life. But so often, our happiness is dependent on external factors like where we are in our “life timeline,” who our partner is, how much money we make, etc. Ultimately, this only leads us to set expectations for others and our lives which leads to disappointment.

In this blog, we want to talk about happiness and how much of your own happiness you are responsible for in relationships. We’ll share 7 key points to look out for that will help you determine whether you are TRULY unhappy or if your current environment is the cause of your unhappiness. Let’s dive in!

1) Invasion of your personal boundaries

A happy relationship is built on trust, respect, and the recognition of personal boundaries. When one partner consistently invades or disrespects the other’s personal space, whether physically or emotionally, it can lead to unhappiness and a lack of trust. And when there’s no trust, the relationship is doomed. (#JustSaying) Healthy relationships allow for individuality, giving each person room to grow, pursue their interests, and maintain a sense of self.

2) Lack of Emotional Support

Emotional support is the backbone of a happy and healthy relationship. When both partners are aware of each other’s emotions, they can offer empathy, understanding, and encouragement. If one partner constantly dismisses or neglects the other’s feelings, it creates unhappiness and emotional distance. If you don’t know where your partner stands or are unaware of how they feel, they become emotionally unavailable. A happy relationship thrives on mutual care and support and healthy communication.

3) They’re controlling or manipulating

Control and manipulation have no place in a genuinely happy relationship. One HUGE red flag is if you can’t go somewhere or do something you wanna do without their permission. This invades your sense of autonomy and individual freedom. If one partner attempts to exert control over the other’s decisions, actions, or even emotions, it can breed resentment and unhappiness. When someone guilts the other and manipulates them to act a certain way and do things in life you want them to do-that is the epitome of someone losing joy in their life. Healthy relationships are based on equality, where both individuals have the freedom to make choices without fear of judgment or coercion.

4) Criticism & Negativity

Criticism can be constructive when communicated effectively, but constant negative remarks can erode happiness in a relationship. Your partner should care how you feel and it should be important to them. You have to communicate how you’re feeling otherwise, you hold onto resentment, and that only leads to being unhappy and pissed off all the time. A happy partnership involves open communication and a willingness to discuss issues with kindness and respect. Sustained negativity fosters a toxic environment that hinders the growth of love and trust.

5) Isolation from other sources of happiness

A well-rounded and fulfilling life includes various sources of happiness, such as friendships, hobbies, and personal pursuits. When one partner isolates the other from these sources, it can lead to unhappiness and a sense of dependence, solely relying on your partner to make you happy. In a happy relationship, both partners encourage each other to pursue individual interests and maintain a strong support network.

6) Abuse

This one is pretty obvious. Abuse, emotionally and physically is UNACCEPTABLE. It’s also the clearest form of internal happiness versus external factors. Abusive behavior can shatter happiness and cause long-lasting emotional scars. Recognizing the signs of abuse and seeking help is crucial for ensuring personal safety and well-being.

7) Lack of personal growth

In a thriving relationship, both partners encourage and support each other’s personal growth and development. If one partner suppresses the other’s aspirations or discourages self-improvement, it can lead to stagnation and discontentment. Happy relationships are marked by a shared commitment to growing together while respecting individual ambitions. You have to figure out ways to grow together and develop your own sense of self.

Happiness in relationships isn’t some quick passing feeling; it continues growing when we show respect, support, and understanding for each other. Knowing the difference between our own unhappiness and outside influences is key to building awesome and joyful connections. So, let’s keep communication open, understand each other’s feelings, and support our personal growth. Together, we can forge an unbreakable bond with our loved ones, where happiness becomes a shared goal rather than a one-person show.